Absolutely Obsessed

I really wish I wrote in here more. Back in Michigan till the end of the month, got in kinda trouble in AZ, so instead of moving back here, I have to go back out there.. serve some.. prison time.. then hopefully be allowed to come back. I'm such a fuck up.

To do today:

Get christmas card address ready
hang up clothes
shower
cut hair
clean upstairs
help ma with the shed
get ahold of brian
write in here again

been here a couple days now, nothing's really changed, but idk. we'll see I guess.

Things have been crazy since I moved to AZ.. don't really have much time to post here, plus no internet access unless i'm at work.. which, btw, i'm at right now.. the owners are coming into town in like.. a day and a half.. and the place has to be spotless.. which noone seems to care about, since it's just me that's been cleaning it for the last two weeks. which is why i'm here, (drunk), at 3AM scrubbing behind tables and cleaning.. super lame. But other than that.. everything is decently good out here.. I'm going back home in like 3 weeks to visit.. kinda nervous.. kinda let myself go out here, and gained like 20 lbs.. trying really hard to work it off in the next three weeks..

Weight now: 156
Goal weight: 140
Ate Today: Ate two slices of amazing Alea Alfredo creation
Ate three Bananas and half a pineapple
Drank not enough water
Exercise: Nothing yet, but i've been running around, cleaning, and sweating... Counts for something, yeah?


Shouldn't be too hard.. I have free access to a 24/7 gym out here.. It's just having the will to go.. it's so boring without having someone to go wth.. but I'm trying to eat better, and atleast one hour of exercise a day.. I'd love to fit into any of my clothes that aren't a dress.. F working at a pizza place.

As far as guys go.. just incase anyone who still reads this wants an update.. if pretty much the same.. I see guys.. go on dates.. but nothing like Brian or James.. idk.. I think I have commitment issues because of the former two.. there are plenty of decent guys out here but I can't seem to get into anything..

And as far as BSdiaries goes.. It's been broken for about a month now.. I just found Amura's email online.. I'm pretty sure I was emailing her old email.. Idk, I guess we'll find out.. I'd love to update it again.. Get it back on track.. I don't really have internet, but I'd go to the library everyday for that site.. it's like my baby..

i'm horrible at commentng people's livejournals... I'm just not on enough.. Wish I had a computer..

In another notwe.. The heat in Arizona? Overrated.. it's ridiculous here.. Muggy and hot and gross.. I can't wait to go back to Michigan, it's been like 8 months since i've seen my mom and dad.. and my nieces.. and my sister, and my exes and all my friends.. 17 Days and counting...

I have no clue what's wrong with it!! I've been trying to get ahold of Amura.. I think I have the wrong email?

staying with me. So freaking disrespectful, they're so rude, I can't stand it. I can't wait to move into my own place.

I'm not going to lie, i'm a bit peeved that they changed all the music from the show.. I remember certain scenes and love them for the way the scene plays out, and the music adds to it.. it's not the same.

so bored. with no money. but yay! I'm getting a tattoo tomarrow!! I'm getting the B from Buffy, in that font, in black, on the inside of my wrist.. i'm super excited.

Haven't updated this in a bit, Life in Az has been super crazy. Working alot more, met alot of new people, goin out alot more. Met a cute boy, but he went back to Iraq today, so that sucks. Slowly getting over Brian, so that's cool I guess. Was updating BSD pretty consitantly for a month or so before my work started back up, then it slowed down alot, but if i'm stuck here all day today, i'll probably be working on it all day. Right now i'm moving more of my old fic recs to my live journal list.. I really want to spend the day reading a really long b/S story (speaking of which, I just read the first two Twilight books, pretty amazing actually)

Did this like two years ago, and the results were wonderful. If you want a Christmas card, just reply here with your address and name. I'm trying to make the comments private, but I don't know how to..

And if you want to send me one, post a link to your entry, or just email me. :D

Does anyone know how to make the comments on a post to where only I can view them?

( Worth a read )

Or more importantly.. the show AND fanfic? Does anyone feel they hold their love life in comarisson to what they watch, and read, and find it doesn't compare? I've been single for so long cause I keep picking guys that are absolutely wrong for me, and now I just give up. Why can't they all be like fanfic?

I'm on a friggen roll, and Buffy when Drunk.. super fun. But, however.. I forgot how depressing season 6 was... :( I'm on Flooded right now.. just looking forward to the B/S scenes that are amazing.

Miss Allaboutspike.com still.. Anyone have any info?

Also, updated my fic rec list with more stories (that are actually working) from Gems.. Like 10 new stories..

Big Ole Buffy/Spike Fic Rec List

I should think of a catchier name, that one is kinda long to keep writing over again whenever I write it.

WAH. Where is it?

Ebbing Of The Tide
A single moment changes the course of Buffy's life forever when Dawn sacrifices herself to save the world.

This is such a horrifying slide downwards, and a very shockingly realistic aftermath of Dawn dying, very dark, and i'm not going to lie, I had some tears at the end.

Just got permission to archive this author's work at BSDiaries after reading one of her stories, Back Porch (which is also amazing) but then I stumbled across this fic.

Kaleidoscope
Summary: "Can you tell me, is this love that I'm seeing?" One by one, the people in Buffy and Spike's lives try to add up the obvious.

Oh. My. Goodness. I was enthralled with this one. Writen from so many different character POV, Lirazel pulls from each character and their verses are written extremely in character. It's the little things you have to notice, and this fic has them all. Written dead-on, and such a good read.

Also, for those who missed my extreme rec last week, All Too Human by Margot, I can't stress the brilliance of thi story, such an epic, so dark, so amazing. Written back after season two, one of the early stories, worth your time.

Dude, I forgot how good season three was, just finished Faith Hope and Trick, LOVE Faith. I almost cried a couple times, I guess my old love for the B/A Arc didn't die completely, cause it's sad. The dream sequence in this one was the best yet, and more emotion was showed in this episode than in ALL season 4 in my opinion. I love seeing Faith vulnerable. How ever there's a really creepy laughing on the main disk screen I can't place, and it bugs me.

Just bought season 3 of Buffy... Forgot how much I loved this season.. I miss all the character interactions with Buffy, Willow and Xander.. It seemed to be lacking in the later seasons. I love how 90210 (old) and Buffy use the same school set..

Rereading a bunch of older stories from my old rec list and remembering why they were there. Today's story: All Too Human By Margot.. good lord, this one was written after Becoming, and has such an original plot, and such a good story line, the story itself is completely heartbreaking, I don't even know how else to describe it. Spike turns Earth into hell and it's.. well, it's just amazing. Please read, it's like 3am here, and I couldn't see myself going to bed before I finished it. Very much NC-17 and very much Angst.

Aww. i'm crying. Such a sad movie.